SciFi Movie Reviews

For whatever reason I found myself indulging in a SciFi weekend. So without further ado, here’s my take.

Tron: Legacy (2010)

What a pretty movie. I’m sure all the killer robots and egomaniacal minds would cringe to hear me say that, but it was. The world they created was stunning. I enjoyed the unique transportation of each scene and watching the place come to life. I also had no clue what was going on.

I guess that doesn’t matter. There was a Cute Guy and a Cute Girl and a Long-Lost Father and an Evil Villain. You already know the plot from that information alone. The rest I’m sure is Tron lore which probably made total sense to fans of the original film and the game. (Is there even a real game? I’m in my 20’s so I grew up on Mario Bros, not blinking dots.) Stuff happens, things blow up, people race around chasing each other. That’s usually not my thing, but when it was so darn pretty to look at, I forgot that for a while. For a while.

Was it weird watching Garrett Hedlund parade around in the same body pads my parents made me wear to rollerblade as a kid? Surprisingly, no. Am I glad I saw it? Yes. Would I see it again? No.

I Am Number Four (2011)

First off, I’ll say this: I didn’t think the first two-thirds were as bad as everyone said. (The ending: ok, yeah.) As a life-long fan of many escapist CW (formerly WB) cheese, I’d be a hypocrite to decry the familiar formula of 20-something beautiful actors pretending to do teenage things real teenagers don’t actually do.

Having said that, I got the sense early on that I’d seen this movie before. And it was better. Probably because I did. It was a series called Roswell and ran for a few seasons on the WB. I really liked it. I even have the first season on DVD. It made a whole lot more sense than this movie and the characters were much more interesting versions of the same clichés.

Alex Pettyfer is a very attractive young man. A little old for a high school kid, but they all are. Hollywood has established a different conception of what high school “kids” look like so we don’t even notice anymore that the boys need to shave twice a day and the girls have figures like no 15-year-old I ever knew. John (Alex Pettyfer) also clearly isn’t from Sante Fe as he tries to convince his new classmates. The accent that slips out in several heated seats indicates he’s probably not even from this country. (Although England is a lot closer than whatever galaxy he’s supposedly from, so there’s that).

Still, young girls aren’t watching this movie for the superior writing and acting. They’re watching because there’s a totally hot alien in love with a totally hot non-alien and they can’t be together which totally sucks.

Oh, and they’re both outcasts. Right. Like anyone would believe 25-yr-old blond bombshell Dianna Agron is an outcast. I don’t care who dumped whom or who said what about whom “way-in-the-past-so-you-should-just-take-our-word-for-it-that-she’s-an- outcast.” There’s no high school in this country where that girl would be sitting on her own at lunch scribbling in a notebook. That’s where I was in high school and there were no supermodel blonds nearby. (Well, figuratively. We weren’t allowed outside.) 

And sorry, Alex Pettyfer wouldn’t have found himself in loner purgatory either. If you’re super hot and mysterious, coming to the aid of the weird kid only bumps you into the extra-super hot and mysterious category. Hottness elevates the status of your non-hot friends. Not the other way around.

But again, why am I even trying to insert logic into a plot that doesn’t pretend to be anything but ludicrous. Well, maybe it does. Maybe that’s why I struggled with the ending. It took itself very seriously and even tried to convince me I’d want a sequel.

No thanks. I’d rather watch Season 1 of Roswell again.