For more about Allison and her books visit her website at For now, please relax and brace yourself for the occasionally coherent ramblings of Allison's mind.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Dear Dr. Fortune Cookie: Animal Kingdom

Before we start, I’d like to give a nod to Angela & Chris. You’re awesome. I did the math and you account for 40% of my fan base so well done!

(Editor’s note: You may submit all requests for fortune cookie interpretations through the comment sections on Allison’s blogs or contact her through Facebook. And while you’re there, “like” me so I can hit 30 fans and be able to actually see stats.)

Let’s get right to it. As always, these are actual fortunes from fortune cookies.

Dear Dr. Fortune Cookie,

“It’s better to be the beak of a hen than the tail of an ox.”

Good luck,

Not A Farm Animal

Dear Farm Animal,

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess you’re younger. Maybe high school, maybe college. Either that or you’re a slacker who just now realized Mom’s garage isn’t cutting it and you need a job. Whatever your station in life, it’s clear that you’re at a crossroads and the cookie gods see warning lights.

Look, you’ve got two choices.

On the surface there’s the less glamorous “beak” route. That’s going to take time, effort, maybe even more schooling. Only you know the details, but you’re not sure it’s worth it. So you go through all that, then what? You get to pluck worms off the sidewalk? Awesome. They’re slimy.

The pretty option is to take the low-hanging fruit and be the ox tail. Slip right into a defined role, no ambiguity, easy to visualize. Very safe.

But I’m warning you now, that’s not where you want to go.

You’re missing a very important distinction: hen beaks do a lot more than just slurp worms. They also gather seeds and make nests. Heck, if you’re in a horror movie, they can peck people’s eyes out and portend doom.

Being an ox tail has no risk, so I see the attraction, I do. But no risk, no reward, right? Latch onto the ox and hopefully you like swatting flies of animal butts, because that’s all you get and all you’ll ever get.
Build nests and peck people’s eyes out, don’t swat flies.

Dear Dr. Fortune Cookie,

I thought you would like this one:



Dear Unsigned,

Thanks for the picture. It makes my blog more attractive to casual drop-ins.

“People who are late are often happier than those who have to wait for them.”

I’m going to guess that this one hit home. I’m also going to guess you sent this to me because you’re hoping I twist the obvious message into some contorted interpretation that doesn’t leave you looking like a jerk for being late all the time.

Sorry. Get a better alarm clock. Better yet, I’ll send you mine .

Best wishes,

Dr. Fortune Cookie

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