Holly: “Game of Thrones”…no verdict yet

Let me start by saying I did not read the books. Please don’t write to me and explain that if I’d only read such-and-such I would understand such-and-such. I didn’t, and I bet HBO is assuming 97% of its audience hasn’t either. If a book can’t stand alone as a movie, it shouldn’t be a movie. Having said that, the show did a decent job introducing the players, even if I couldn’t tell you any of their names.

The premiere opened with a lot of promise as a dark medieval drama. That would have been a great show and we’d be having a very different conversation right now. There’s a lot of period drama out there right now, but not much period suspense. The show opens with a snowy, spooky forest, monsters, and plenty of legitimate scares. I actually did my patented “mute the TV because it’s not as scary that way” move which is reserved for the best fright moments.

And then, just when I’m ready to set my DVR to record the series permanently…we get a completely different show. Somehow we go from medieval horror film to Camelot soap opera. We meet Noble Viking Family #1, Evil Lanyard Ken and Barbie, a very disturbing white-haired duo, and of course, the always entertaining Peter Dinklage.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love period soap operas, I really do. But I’m already watching several of those. I was excited for something different, and when that hope shattered in the second scene, I was disappointed only because they’d raised my expectations. So now that we know it’s a standard medieval soap opera, let’s deal with it on its level.

I can support Noble Viking Family #1 and they’re probably the reason I will try Episode 2. The shocking end to Episode 1 will change the dynamics for this loving family. This could either elevate the show or destroy it depending on how they progress. And yes, I know the illegitimate son thing has been done a million times before, but I’m still a sucker for the earnest outcast even if the show felt it necessary to remind us 15 times that he’s a bastard child. (We figured that out from the first lingering gaze between him and Step-Mom. Then confirmed it with the wolves. Then, just in case you still didn’t get it, we discussed it another 10 times to make sure we got the hint. Don’t worry, I’m still cool with it and cheering for our strong-but-melancholy-young-man-who-just-wants-to-make-something-of-himself.)

I could do without the creepy white-haired duo though. As if their incest moment right out of the gate wasn’t uncomfortable enough, they decide to cast an actress that looks like everyone’s 14-year-old niece. Look, I get that we were SUPPOSED to be uncomfortable with that storyline. I get that we were supposed to be disturbed by her “wedding night scene” with the
“Baywatch” guy. Just because I get it, doesn’t mean I want to see it. I have a pretty open mind and strong stomach when it comes to stretching my perceptions for fiction done well, but this pair could be a deal-breaker for me and this show. I’ll give it another shot and see where they’re headed, but if I have to watch barely pubescent doe-eyed girl get graphically used and abused by everyone around her much longer, we will have a problem.

I know this review seems unfocused and void of strong opinions either way, but that’s actually the perfect reflection of my feelings on the show. The verdict is still out on this one. It didn’t immediately capture me like “Camelot” did; it didn’t repel me with surprising indifference like “Boardwalk Empire” either. I’ll give it another shot and hope for more Peter Dinklage. Speaking of which, if you’re curious about the incredible acting chops of this recognizable star, check out “The Station Agent.” There’s no indifference about that movie.

Holly: King (Prince) Arthur

Alright, so at the risk of pouring embarrassment on myself and all who associate with me, I’m going to reveal that I’m a bit of a sci-fi/ fantasy nut. In particular, I love the legend of King Arthur, I really do. I especially love when legends are planted in prospective history. Well, I guess history wouldn’t be prospective, but you know what I mean. The best movie of all time regarding this legend is, of course, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. And I can’t even mention that fact without declaring that, despite all appearances, “I’m not a witch!” Ok, whew. I feel better now.

Anyway, it seems like lately cable TV has jumped on board as well. I love the fact that Sci-Fi and fantasy are becoming more mainstream. Soon I’ll be able to wear my Arwen costume to work. (Kidding. I have to wear scrubs.)

The Sci-Fi channel is wrapping up its season of Merlin. This is a PG version of the legend where Merlin is young prince Arthur’s servant. He has to constantly come to his master and friend's aid without revealing his abilities since magic has been outlawed by King Uther. It’s typical Friday night Sci-Fi Channel escapist cheese. I’m still wondering how that channel pulled off an epic masterpiece like the recent series, Battlestar Galactica. They’ve had other winners over the years, but yeah, Merlin doesn’t exactly approach the astounding quality of BSG. Still, gosh darnit, if it doesn’t just make you smile when those random, inexplicable, hilarious CGI goblins wreak havoc on Camelot.

I actually don’t hate the series. Far from it. I just get frustrated that the writers can’t seem to decide if they take their show seriously or not. One minute they seem to revel in their camp, and the next they expect us to embrace a serious story arc or character conflict. Only Supernatural can pull off both. Merlin just leaves me tilting my head and staring at the television in confusion.

Taking an entirely different approach is Starz which just began airing its opposite take on King Arthur this past week. This is Starz. This would be the R-rated version. No CGI goblins yet, but plenty of, ahem, other things. There is no mistaking the mood of this series, however. They want to be taken seriously. Minus the whole sorcery thing, of course, they expect us to embrace the historic significance of young Arthur’s world. I could do without some of the juicier scenes, that’s for sure, but I do like the serious approach to the legend. Remember my appreciation for “prospective history.” (I know there’s a term for it, but my brain is too busy reconstructing the sword in the stone myth. Speaking of which, Starz wants you to believe the sword was just an old relic planted by Merlin in a waterfall. The Sci-Fi Channel had their take too, but details schmetails, more pesky gremlins!)

Holly Sullivan: Hello, World!

Wow, thanks, Mr. Hanover. I guess that explains why Jesse hates you.  And I read your bio on the other page. I love the fact that you think your friends respect you. Heck, I love the fact that you think you have friends. But then again, since Jesse rarely mentions you, all I really know about you is what I’ve witnessed when you and your annoying wife butt into our lives.

Of course, I’m not thrilled with Jesse either. Come on, Jess, that’s really how you want to introduce yourself to the world? In typical Jesse fashion, you deflect every remotely intimate detail about yourself to a safer topic. You can be infuriating, you know that?

And Kevin…why are you stooping to his level!! Let him pout like he does so well! Seriously, guys, you’re worse than a bathroom full of reality show divas.

You’d never know they’re actually really good friends. Almost brothers, even though they’re pretty much polar opposites. If not for Kevin, Jesse would probably be a brilliant hermit, filling countless notebooks with incoherent ramblings in five-syllable words. If not for Jesse, Kevin would probably be that reality show diva after all. Their apartment never lacks for excitement, let me tell you.

Ok, and yes, as much as Jesse drives me crazy sometimes, I do love him. More than anyone really, except my daughter Julia, of course. For all his faults, he’s pretty amazing even if he’s right that I worry about him. But what are girlfriends for if not to worry and remind their men of their many endearing faults?

Great, now I’m out of space and I haven’t even told you anything about myself either. Thanks for the inspiration, Jess. I can almost feel you smirking as you read this. Alright, well, maybe I’ll say more in my next post.  Then again, since I got bumped twice in a row now, who knows when that will be!